Facing the Truth in Order to Move Forward

There's a lot I could say about financial expert Suze Orman, but I want to focus on one thing for this post: her frank, in-your-face honesty. I've been a fan of her books and TV show for several years, and I've been impressed with how she counsels people. She's not afraid to be brutally honest with a caller to get to the meat of the problem. Most of the time, she knows the truth about someone's situation before he or she vocalizes it. I don't think I've ever heard anyone get upset on the phone with her when she forces him or her to face something. This is pretty amazing, considering some of the tough topics and life events that people discuss with her.

Many people call her about money problems, but don't realize how those problems are closely related to and caused by what's going on inside a person. For example, she has traced overspending to a need to compensate for an emotional void. Her theory is that if you fix the emotional issue, the money problem gets repaired too.

At some point in our lives, all of us need a harsh dose of reality. Often, it comes in the form of some carefully spoken words from someone we know and trust. Those words can be the catalyst for taking a crucial step forward in some area of life: school, work, faith, money or relationships. Here's hoping all of us know people like that who care enough to tell us the truth for our own good. And here's hoping we hear them out.

I Can't Believe I Waited This Long to Write About Daryl Hall

Somehow, I've already mentioned a few singers here without naming my favorite first. It's Daryl Hall, the man with the best voice in the world, in my opinion. Nearly two years ago, Daryl Hall started doing free concerts online every month at www.livefromdarylshouse.com. (Yes, it hurts to leave the apostrophe out.) He brings in a different guest for each episode, resulting in a glorious mix of musical styles. They perform Hall and Oates' songs or Hall's solo songs, the guest artist's songs and covers of songs like "Ain't No Sunshine."

Young artists blend in with Daryl's talented collection of experienced musicians. Guests have included Finger 11, Company of Thieves, Chromeo and Matt Nathanson. I hadn't heard of any of them until they appeared on the show, but I liked Matt Nathanson so much that I bought his CD. If the comments on the site are any indication, that sort of thing happens a lot.

Daryl proves he can harmonize with anyone, especially with KT Tunstall. Rapper Travis McCoy, a seemingly unlikely guest for a pop legend to invite, adds his own flavor to his episode. The current episode's guests are from Plain White T's -- you know, the ones who recorded "Hey There Delilah." That song is the reason they were invited on the show, and the performance of it does not disappoint. As a bonus, viewers also get to hear the story behind the song, which is always fascinating to me.

Ever heard of Monte Montgomery? This nimble-fingered guitarist earned his spot on the show because Daryl saw him singing the Hall and Oates classic, "Sara Smile," on YouTube. He does a fabulous job with it too. Much to Monte's surprise, Daryl graciously let him sing lead on that one.

Online concerts may be the best use of the Internet yet.

Fun With Words

I could get lost in the dictionary. Every time I look a word up, I notice all the interesting words around it. So many wonderful words!

I can open up to any page and find words that are new to me or simply not used often. Here's a good one from the "D" section: disparage. It means: "to speak of as unimportant or small; belittle." Right below it is disparate, which means: "completely distinct or different in kind; entirely dissimilar." Two fabulous words on the same page. I love the English language.

Driving Is Not as Fun as It Looks on TV

Did you ever stop to think about why driving a car looks so enjoyable in TV commercials? It's because there is nobody else on the road.

The professional driver in the commercial isn't trying to figure out whether the person in front of him is about to make an unsignaled turn. He isn't concerned about merging into traffic or missing an exit. And he doesn't have to keep an eye out for drivers who have one hand on the wheel and the other on a phone. All he has to do is drive. Ok, it's more complicated than that, but you get the idea.

Today's Tip

Recently, I read a tip that suggested reading text out loud to check for errors. While there's merit to that advice, this method has its shortcomings. "Your" sounds like "you're." "To" sounds like "too." And "they're," "there" and "their" all sound the same.

Please, if you're going to do this to your text, think about the meaning too. Look! They're reading their text over there.

As a side note, whenever an apostrophe is present in a word like "you're" or "they're," it's taking the place of a missing letter. Think of it as a stand-in for a star letter that got sick before the show and could not make an appearance in the word.

Trying to Find Myself... On Google

I heard somewhere that a job seeker should look up his or her name on Google to find out what a potential employer would see if he or she entered the job seeker's name. Typing my own name into a search engine felt a bit weird, but I did it anyway.

I discovered that there are a fair number of people out there with my name. Just to be clear, these are the ones who are not me: a high school PTO secretary/treasurer, an account manager at a company in Rhode Island, an actress in a 2007 movie, a travel agent in Canada, a runner on the East Coast, a presidential campaign contributor on the West Coast, a professor of criminal justice, and of course, the person who died in 1999. I hope that clears up any confusion.

Express Yourselves, Men!

Men who wonder why women are drawn to male singers don't understand something about women. It has to do with the feelings that many men are uncomfortable expressing. Those innermost thoughts and feelings are exactly what women want to hear about.

When a male singer (especially a singer-songwriter who writes the words himself) pours out his sentiments through song lyrics, women respond to it. If the lyrics are delivered in a genuine, heartfelt way, the effect is intensified. The vulnerability (which is probably what makes it scary for men) creates a connection between the singer and the listener.

I'm not suggesting that every guy out there should serenade his girl -- especially if he can't sing. Just a few words spoken from the heart will do.

The 100-Calorie Snack

I want to know who decided to make 100 calories the right amount for a snack. One company decided that was the magic number, and then everybody else followed suit. Now everybody has to have a 100-calorie snack bag. Please. Those bags have four tiny cookies in them. Who wants that?

I bought some ice cream treats that came in a box sporting a bright yellow circle that trumpeted: "90 calories per piece." Each ice cream treat is about the size of my thumb. That's a nice size snack ... for a five-year-old. I checked the serving size on the box. FOUR! Yes! That makes me feel better about eating two.

On a related note, I do not understand how they can call those candy bars given out at Halloween "fun size." What's fun about a tiny candy bar?

Icy Inspiration

If you ever feel like giving up on something, think about Japanese figure skater Mao Asada. She is the gutsy teen who took a fall very early in her long program, but went on to win the gold medal at the 2008 World Figure Skating Championships.

Her opening jump didn't get into the air, and she went sliding into the boards that line the edge of the rink. She picked herself up and went on to perform a fantastic program.

She didn't let the mistake rattle her or shake her confidence.
She just kept going.

The lesson is simple: If you fall down (figuratively, and of course, literally), get up and keep going! If she could pick herself up and continue in front of thousands of people -- and with a world title on the line -- so can you!

Enough With the Long Receipts Already!

My friend is fed up with the incredibly long receipts that stores are handing out these days. After a quick search online, I realized she isn't the only one fuming about this. She makes a good point: Why use up so much paper? Aren't we supposed to be following the "Reduce, reuse, recycle" mantra?

Unfortunately, I think we are stuck with these long receipts until someone can prove they aren't generating revenue for the stores. Someone must have theorized that if they printed offers and coupons on the receipts, people would come back to the store and spend more. Otherwise, why would they incur the added paper expense?

What retailers may not realize is that they are irritating their customers. Also, as people become accustomed to the junk text on the receipt, they ignore it. Their eyes skip over it, and the message is unread.

It's similar to the ads that are sometimes stuffed in with a credit card bill. The stores and the credit card companies know that you are going to look at your receipts and bills. While they have your attention, they're hoping to divert it from what you need to see to what they want you to see. What do they want you to see? Anything that will make you spend more. That may have worked in pre-recession America, but not now.

My High-Tech Washing Wonder

I must confess that I have an unnatural attachment to my washing machine.

It's one of those energy-saving, front-loading models that uses less water and electricity. Because it uses less water, it also fills quickly. During the wash cycle, it barely makes a sound other than a quiet "swish, swish." When it spins, it sounds like a jet plane taking off in the laundry room. It's amazing.

I like being able to select the water temperature, spin speed and soil level. Best of all, the machine has a dizzying array of choices for the type of laundry load: Normal, Bulky, Quick, Delicate, Hand Wash and more. Any machine that offers a Hand Wash cycle has won my affection.

I missed this marvelous machine while it was in storage. The built-in washer at the apartment just couldn't compare. The months of forced separation from my front-loader dragged on, but we were reunited a couple of months ago. Welcome back, my faithful partner in grime removal.

Where Are the Missing Ounces?

Some producers of consumer goods are getting creative with their cost-cutting measures.

The facial tissue box is the same size, but the tissues inside are about an inch shorter. If you tilt the box from side to side, the stack of tissues slides back and forth from end to end.

An orange juice maker redesigned its container, which now sports shapely curves and a handy pouring spout. The container is smaller, which is probably the real reason for the redesign. That's right. New container, less juice.

The other day, I was surprised to see that the ice cream treat I unwrapped was smaller than the ones I had eaten in the past. I know my hands aren't getting bigger. The ice cream shrunk.

It's pretty clever, really. They keep the price the same, but give you less product. Did they think we wouldn't notice?

It's a Common Problem

Whenever I sense the word "its" or "it's" coming up in a sentence I read, I hold my breath a little. I'm waiting to see if the apostrophe will appear and if it's supposed to be there. This is one of the most common mistakes I see, and it's a mistake that's easily avoided.

It's simple. To show that something belongs to the subject, use "its." (The dog wagged its tail.)
If you can use "it is" instead, use "it's." (See above: It's simple.)

A restaurant I used to go to proudly stated on its menu: "Pasta at it's finest." I wonder if I could have fixed all the menus if I had eaten there often enough. For the record, I didn't fix any of them...yet.

Dining Near the Loud Table

Did you ever notice that exuberant, noisy guests at a restaurant don't realize how loud they are? The people at the other tables do.

Many people probably switch between these roles depending on the situation. One day, they could be at the epicenter of all the laughs in the room. Another time, they could be the ones having a quiet dinner while taking notice of the group of revelers at the next table.

Marketing's Encroachment on the English Language

I find it interesting that name brands can become such a part of our lives that we begin to use them as verbs. For example, "I'll FedEx that to you." Or: "Could you Xerox this for me?" Sure, people know what you are trying to say. However, it could be confusing if you're waiting for a FedEx delivery and a different delivery van arrives.

Some brand names have become the name of choice for a particular product too, such as: Scotch tape, Kleenex and Rollerblades. I capitalize these because they are still name brands, not generic names -- even though most people refer to them that way. It would be interesting to see if these brands are the top sellers over their competition simply because of the familiarity of their names.

Daughtry Delivers

I've been enjoying Daughtry's new CD. It's been playing nonstop in my car for a couple of days, and I've been driving a lot this week. The fact that I haven't ejected the CD yet should say something about how much I like "Leave This Town."

The CD has a good mix of rock songs and ballads, and this band can handle both types of songs. The hard-rocking start of the first song on the CD is a bit of a surprise, but the song backs down from that rough beginning. There's definitely some radio-friendly material on the CD. What kept coming to mind as I listened to it again was this: "Leave This Town" has ear-pleasing melodies, harmonies, guitar riffs and choruses, but Chris Daughtry's voice rises above it all. His voice is the reason I listen.

I've been a Chris Daughtry fan since he sang on "American Idol." I'm one of many who thought he should have won the title the year he competed. He gets the last laugh, though, with the great success he's found since his too-early dismissal.

Why Women Like To Buy Shoes

I have a theory that women like to buy shoes because their shoe size doesn't change. A woman's clothing sizes may change over time, and she may get frustrated when trying on clothes. Not so with shoes. Once a seven, always a seven. Think about it. Have you ever heard a woman complain that she can't fit into the shoes she bought two years ago? That's because they still fit.

The other reason women like to buy shoes is because it's simple. Trying on shoes is easy. There's no need to find a dressing room. Just take two shoes off and put two shoes on. Done.

Buying new shoes may make women feel good about themselves or liven up an old outfit. And when someone notices the new shoes, the wearer feels good all over again. It's like the pre-teen daughter says to her nervous father before his date in the movie "The American President": "Compliment her on her shoes. Girls like that." Smart girl.

The Paths of Former Journalists

When someone sent me a link to an audio clip of an interview with former journalists in new jobs, I was curious to hear it. One ex-reporter found work in a scouting organization he'd excelled in as a youth. Another took his investigative reporting skills and transferred them into private detective work. A third, a former talk show host, is now selling cars.

Two of the three sounded like they missed some aspect of their old jobs, but writing was not one of the things they missed. I can't relate. Chasing stories or scooping someone else didn't excite me. It was always about the writing. My favorite part of the job often happened late at night in an empty newsroom where I was tapping away at my keyboard. Thoughts were flowing and the story was taking shape. In the morning, the story would be scrutinized by a deadline-pressured editor. At night, the story was mine. I could mold it and shape it like a sculptor working with clay. Part of the fun was in not knowing exactly how the story would turn out, and that's what makes this blog enjoyable. Plus, there's no editor to face in the morning.

Splitting Up The Daisies

Sometimes a project can seem overwhelming, like this patch of daisies. Each one demands your attention at the same time. Which one do you look at? Where do you start?

I've found success in these situations by breaking tasks into parts instead of trying to tackle the whole thing at once. This can apply to anything: a large work project, a complicated sentence or a household chore. It's easier to edit a few chapters of text to your satisfaction before moving on to the rest. If the construction of a sentence makes it hard to check subject/verb agreement, I mentally strip the sentence down to its bare essentials while I remain fully clothed. If housework seems daunting, I spread it out over a couple of days.

Some may argue that breaking tasks into parts is not the best way to approach them, but it works for me.

Why I Like Deleted Scenes

I like to watch the deleted scenes in the bonus material section of DVD movies, because I'm curious about what they took out. More importantly, I want to know why they removed it.

When I watch these deleted scenes, usually a producer or director from the film explains why the scene was cut. Often, the film was just getting too long. Just as often, the producer will say, "The scene just wasn't moving the story along." I love this reason, and so should any writer or editor. If something isn't relevant to the idea or the story, it has to go.

One director's comment took the idea even further. He said, "You have to be willing to cut your favorite scene." I could not agree more. I can remember running into this same dilemma while writing newspaper articles. I'd have a great quote from somebody I had interviewed, but I could not justify working it into the story. As much as I may have loved that quote, it didn't belong or make sense anywhere. It didn't move the story along. I had to leave it out. Although it was difficult to leave those great thoughts and quotes in the notebook from time to time, the stories were better off without them.

It Really Is The Little Things

Sometimes the smallest things can make your day, like this day lily I discovered in the yard. The way it grew and bloomed, it looks like a twin lily to me. And I love the color.

I told the previous homeowner that it was nice of her to plant so many types of flowers that I like. It's been fun to see what will bloom next. Just as one type of flower dies out, another one blooms.

It's similar to listening to the radio and wondering which song will be next. Or wondering where life will take you next.

Windows up? Ok, sing!

One of the difficult things about summer is that it's easier to get caught singing in the car. If the windows are open and you're stopped at a red light, there's a pretty good chance that the driver next to you can hear you singing. If a sing-worthy song starts playing on the radio or the CD player, I usually do a window check before singing. Of course, people can still see my lips moving. Maybe they think I'm talking to myself.

I remember being stopped at a light once when the person who was driving burst into some spirited singing and upper-body dancing. As the non-dancing passenger in the same car, I witnessed an entire carload of people laughing at this scene.

At a red light a few days ago, I glanced in my rear-view mirror and noticed something going on in the car behind me. The driver's hands were flailing around and thumping on the steering wheel. Must've been one awesome drum solo.

Here's your change and an empty cup.

There's something weird about a cashier handing an empty cup over the counter to a customer at a fast food restaurant. Somehow, it seems more satisfying to be handed a full cup.

It's become so common to be given an empty cup, consumers have grown accustomed to it. Didn't we realize they were training us to do some of their work for them? Yet, we willingly assist.

I'll admit there are some advantages to the empty-cup method. If you change your mind between the time you ordered and the time you reach the self-serve station, you can simply fill your cup with your newly selected beverage. Being able to control the beverage-to-ice ratio is an advantage too. And for the extra thirsty, going back for refills is easy. The store's additional cost of refills is minimal compared to the price of another pair of hands behind the counter. I'm assuming the cost savings was the reason behind the switch to the empty-cup method of service.

Saving money is probably the reason why retailers and grocery stores started allowing people to check out their own purchases. Instead of paying several employees to man a couple of registers, the store pays one person to float around four self-serve checkouts. The self-serve assistant steps in when a perplexed customer has a problem with a coupon or a runaway lemon.

Although I don't use the self-serve checkout very often, I have used it at times. I like to hear the machine say, "Move your (pause) bananas." Grocery shopping is boring. Find humor where you can.

Career Talk From the Piano Man

My favorite part in Billy Joel's classic song, "Piano Man," is when he talks about people who are doing one job while wishing they were in another. The bartender wants to be a movie star and the waitress is practicing politics. The guy in the Navy will probably be there for life.

Then he gets to the punchline: The piano man is just like the others he's singing about. He's staying in a job that's safe and familiar instead of challenging himself. The bar patrons ask what he's doing there because they know he could go on to a bigger and better venue.

It can be easy to stay in a job that's comfortable, but unemployment forces people to make a change. And while the tunnel of change can be scary on the ride through it, there's a sigh of relief at the end. Things worked out pretty well for Billy Joel when he went on to play larger venues.

Yes, I'm going to comment about Michael Jackson.

Although much has been said about Michael Jackson since his recent death, I'm going to comment on it anyway. He was too big of a star to ignore.

I don't envy the life Michael Jackson had, but I do admire the impact he had on the world. As a performer and songwriter, he must have been gratified to know that what he created affected millions of people. Any artist or writer could appreciate that, but his achievements went beyond music and dance. He will also be remembered for kicking down racial barriers with style and setting records as a philanthropist.

"Making a difference" has become such a cliche that I hate to use the phrase. However, I think it's safe to say that many people's lives -- from aspiring artists to charity recipients to everyday people -- were enriched by the King of Pop.

Are Coaching Changes Smart or Risky?

I've been trying to put myself in the shoes (or skates) of the high-level figure skaters that have recently changed coaches. Just seven months away from the 2010 Olympics, a fair number of top skaters have put their futures into the hands of new coaches.

In some cases, it seems like a newly acquired title may have caused the skater to believe he or she needed a coaching change. Jeremy Abbott, who won the U.S. men's title in Cleveland in January, walked away from the coach he's trained with since 1999. And while I have great admiration for his new coach, Yuka Sato, I can't help thinking, "Why change now?" The other guy did get you to the podium.

Maybe some of the skaters had been thinking about changing coaches for a while, and the upcoming Olympics provided a reason to do something about it. It's also possible that a long-coveted spot opened up on a coach's schedule, and it just happened to occur half a year away from the biggest competition in a figure skater's life.

When the skating season kicks off in a few months, we'll find out if these coaching changes were smart moves or risky ones.

Life in Zen Mode

I don't play computer games often, but "Bejeweled Twist" had been on the computer for months and I hadn't tried it yet. I decided to check it out.

The game offers a player several choices, such as "blitz mode" or "zen mode." Zen mode offers the chance to play without a timer ticking down and without the threat of nasty, ready-to-explode gems.

What a great thing that would be to have the choice each morning about living in blitz mode or zen mode.

Editing in history

While I was watching fireworks tonight, it occurred to me that today's holiday can be traced back to a document. Of course, that document was the Declaration of Independence and it had nothing to do with fireworks or picnics.

I was pleased to learn (courtesy of the Library of Congress' web site) that the Declaration of Independence's author, Thomas Jefferson, wrote at least one rough draft. He made many changes to his first attempt at writing what would become one of America's most important documents. Lines of text were crossed out and words were added here and there above existing text.

Writers, take heart. Even the author of this famous collection of words didn't get it right the first time.

I hope we talk on Monday.

Networking is key in today's job market. Because of that, networking groups are sprouting up everywhere. One of the fun things about networking is meeting people I wouldn't have met otherwise and learning about other jobs and industries.

People from very diverse backgrounds gather at these meetings, and friendships develop easily over time. It reminds me of one of my favorite movies, "The Breakfast Club." Instead of a group of five stereotyped teenagers spending a Saturday together in detention, we are a mix of adults whose career paths were interrupted by the recession. We were thrown together because of circumstance, but we get to know each other while waiting for detention to end.

At one point in the movie, the teens discuss whether they will talk to each other at school on Monday. Coming from such different places on the school's social ladder, it's unlikely they will. My hope is that the friendships developing now among job seekers will continue when the seeking is over. I hope we talk on Monday.

Take time to stop and...jump in puddles?

The other day, I saw a little girl jumping in puddles in the street. She was soaking wet and loving it. Maybe she had things on her mind: a pesky older brother, a Barbie haircut gone bad. Who knows? In that moment, all concerns were pushed aside and she was just living in the moment.

As adults, those kinds of moments get harder and harder to find. With dishes to wash, bills to pay and lawns to cut, jumping in puddles just isn't a priority. No wonder everyone is stressed out.

That little girl is a good reminder to us that sometimes it's good to step away from the to-do list for five minutes and enjoy life.

Auditioning For Your Next Job

I was thinking about how quickly audiences and judges size up contestants on talent-oriented reality shows. Turns out, job interviewers are doing the same thing.

An email from one of my job networking groups quotes a hiring manager as saying that she gets a positive or negative attitude about a candidate within the first minute of the interview. Appropriate dress, a firm handshake and eye contact will make a good first impression, according to the article.

Maybe an interviewer can't get past a bad first impression, but it's a good thing the talent shows can. Otherwise, some gifted people might have missed their shot at stardom. Look at Clay Aiken, who ended up taking second place a few years back on "American Idol." Thank goodness the judges looked past his geeky appearance. Behind it was a wonderful voice. And of course, there's Susan Boyle from the British version of "America's Got Talent." She didn't look like a rock star, but she sure could sing.

There seems to be another factor at work in both auditions and interviews -- how much people like the person who is being evaluated. The confident performers are more endearing than the arrogant ones, especially if the arrogant ones give lousy performances.

I guess the best plan is to make a great first impression and then give a memorable performance. Having Paula Abdul there wouldn't hurt either.